You know it’s a big week for wacky crimes when news reports cite comparisons to The Italian Job and Seinfeld.
1. Mom eats bagel, county takes baby: Paging Seinfeld. The day after Elizabeth Mort took her daughter home, police officers and social workers came to her Lawrence County home without warning and seized the newborn because of a positive test for opiates … caused by a poppy-seed bagel she had eaten hours before giving birth.
In Colorado, had the mother actually been using drugs, this would likely be considered a dependency and neglect case, not a true criminal matter. However, drug use and/or possession near children could result in, not only drug charges, but also child abuse charges.
2. Venice robbers steal $1.7M … in Lagoon: Three bank robbers pulled off a $1.7 million heist in one of the city’s lagoons. In fact, they made it look easy, and racked up a number of Italian Job comparisons along the way.
In Colorado, there is a distinction between aggravated robbery and simple robbery. This distinction does not have anything to do with the amount of money stolen, but rather whether a weapon was used in the commission of the robbery.
3. Felony charges, jail for student who bought water: Don’t mess with agents from Virginia’s Alcoholic Beverage Control. A UVA student learned that the hard way after spending a night in jail and getting charged with three felonies—after buying bottled water.
4. Police: Tiffany VP stole $1.3M in jewelry: A former executive at Tiffany’s is accused of taking 165 pieces of jewelry, pretty much one piece at a time, and then reselling them to an international dealer for about $1.3 million. And authorities say they’ve found some pretty convincing evidence.
In Colorado, theft can be a misdemeanor or a felony. The level of offense is determined by the amount stolen. For example, theft of less than $1,000 is a misdemeanor while theft of more than $1000 is a felony.
5. Woman throws gas on man who takes her bus seat: It’s 5:30 a.m. on a Monday. You get on your morning bus, but a man is sitting in the seat you prefer. Do you: a) Ask him to move? b) Sit elsewhere? or c) Take a bottle of gasoline out of your purse and throw it all over him? A woman in Kansas City chose option C.
In Colorado, this woman would have likely been charged with assault. There are many levels of assault. The level of assault is determined by the severity of the injury to the victim and whether a weapon was used. Assault can range from a municipal violation to a serious felony.